Burlesque Survival Kit

Last night, Rockalily performed at Babylon with a few special guests. The event was to raise money for Planned Parenthood Ottawa, and did we ever! It was a success for everyone involved and we couldn't be more thankful to our friends and fans who came to show their support.

Backstage at a burlesque show, we are constantly asking to borrow things from each other; scissors, titty tape, gloves, etc. A few months ago, I took a large makeup bag (A cute little Betsey Johnson that my mom gave me for Christmas, actually) and stuffed it with often overlooked burlesque necessities.

Here is what I keep in my burlesque survival kit, and I must say, if Survivorman Les Stroud had to endure 5 hours as a burlesque performer, he'd be damn proud of my emergency kit.

• safety pins
• bobby pins
• scissors
• a red lipstick
• an extra set of pasties
• an extra set of tassels
• double-sided body tape
• miniature hairspray
• an extra pair of stockings
• eyelash glue (great for stopping a run in stockings, as well as applying eyelashes)
• an extra pair of evening gloves
• a large container of silver craft glitter
• several wetnaps
• a few mini packets of superfine makeup glitter

What would you keep in an emergency kit for a burlesque performance?

KY

I went to a Catholic high school that housed grades 7-12. There was one kid, his name was Matt, who bullied me mercilessly. I don't remember exactly what his torments were - although I wouldn't believe it at the time, they really were inconsequential in the grand scheme of life.

I'm sure it was childish nonsense, like "fat" "slut" and maybe some "yo momma" jokes. All I remember was the pain I felt from being constantly teased and berated by him.

Around Grade 10, however, I figured it out. The way to conquer a bully is not to walk away; It is not to tell an authority figure. What actually shut him up was this: I became a bigger bully.

To every inslut he slung my way, I responded with "Kill yourself." After a few weeks, I had a good chunk of our peers calling him "Kill Yourself". This became his name. By grade 12, not only was he leaving me alone, but he had taken on the nickname "KY".

Being the bigger bully was something I actually came to regret. What if he had killed himself? My delicate feelings and ever-present Catholic guilt would never recover.

I actually learned a lesson from KY. You can only stand up for yourself for so long. When your peers all gang up on you, you just need to roll with it, and take solace in being yourself. Fuck everybody else, because people who matter don't mind and people who mind don't matter.

Thank you, Bernard Baruch.