KY

I went to a Catholic high school that housed grades 7-12. There was one kid, his name was Matt, who bullied me mercilessly. I don't remember exactly what his torments were - although I wouldn't believe it at the time, they really were inconsequential in the grand scheme of life.

I'm sure it was childish nonsense, like "fat" "slut" and maybe some "yo momma" jokes. All I remember was the pain I felt from being constantly teased and berated by him.

Around Grade 10, however, I figured it out. The way to conquer a bully is not to walk away; It is not to tell an authority figure. What actually shut him up was this: I became a bigger bully.

To every inslut he slung my way, I responded with "Kill yourself." After a few weeks, I had a good chunk of our peers calling him "Kill Yourself". This became his name. By grade 12, not only was he leaving me alone, but he had taken on the nickname "KY".

Being the bigger bully was something I actually came to regret. What if he had killed himself? My delicate feelings and ever-present Catholic guilt would never recover.

I actually learned a lesson from KY. You can only stand up for yourself for so long. When your peers all gang up on you, you just need to roll with it, and take solace in being yourself. Fuck everybody else, because people who matter don't mind and people who mind don't matter.

Thank you, Bernard Baruch.