Burlesque Survival Kit

Last night, Rockalily performed at Babylon with a few special guests. The event was to raise money for Planned Parenthood Ottawa, and did we ever! It was a success for everyone involved and we couldn't be more thankful to our friends and fans who came to show their support.

Backstage at a burlesque show, we are constantly asking to borrow things from each other; scissors, titty tape, gloves, etc. A few months ago, I took a large makeup bag (A cute little Betsey Johnson that my mom gave me for Christmas, actually) and stuffed it with often overlooked burlesque necessities.

Here is what I keep in my burlesque survival kit, and I must say, if Survivorman Les Stroud had to endure 5 hours as a burlesque performer, he'd be damn proud of my emergency kit.

• safety pins
• bobby pins
• scissors
• a red lipstick
• an extra set of pasties
• an extra set of tassels
• double-sided body tape
• miniature hairspray
• an extra pair of stockings
• eyelash glue (great for stopping a run in stockings, as well as applying eyelashes)
• an extra pair of evening gloves
• a large container of silver craft glitter
• several wetnaps
• a few mini packets of superfine makeup glitter

What would you keep in an emergency kit for a burlesque performance?

KY

I went to a Catholic high school that housed grades 7-12. There was one kid, his name was Matt, who bullied me mercilessly. I don't remember exactly what his torments were - although I wouldn't believe it at the time, they really were inconsequential in the grand scheme of life.

I'm sure it was childish nonsense, like "fat" "slut" and maybe some "yo momma" jokes. All I remember was the pain I felt from being constantly teased and berated by him.

Around Grade 10, however, I figured it out. The way to conquer a bully is not to walk away; It is not to tell an authority figure. What actually shut him up was this: I became a bigger bully.

To every inslut he slung my way, I responded with "Kill yourself." After a few weeks, I had a good chunk of our peers calling him "Kill Yourself". This became his name. By grade 12, not only was he leaving me alone, but he had taken on the nickname "KY".

Being the bigger bully was something I actually came to regret. What if he had killed himself? My delicate feelings and ever-present Catholic guilt would never recover.

I actually learned a lesson from KY. You can only stand up for yourself for so long. When your peers all gang up on you, you just need to roll with it, and take solace in being yourself. Fuck everybody else, because people who matter don't mind and people who mind don't matter.

Thank you, Bernard Baruch.

Local stage performer threatens non-profit community group

In 2006, myself and my friend, Tyler Blanchett, formed an artist collective to be known as Rockalily burlesque. I have been the leader and and creative director of this burlesque troupe ever since. I have never called myself an "owner" and find the term offensive for what is a collective of human beings.


As of December 2011, Chris Seabrook and Shadi Ehsani (known by her stage name, Shade Nyx) have been claiming ownership of Rockalily Burlesque. Up until this point, when Seabrook and Ehsani instigated a dispute, Shade Nyx (Ehsani) was a valued and equal member of Rockalily Burlesque. We were aware that Seabrook (her partner) had applied for trademark and, in an effort to maintain my relationship with Ehsani, Seabrook and I had been discussing the appropriate avenues to transfer his trademark applications to me as early as January 2012.  

According to an unnamed collaborator with Rockalily, Ehsani called them with vague, looming threats because of our upcoming event. Rockalily is headlining this event, and all proceeds are being donated to a non-profit community resource. According to my source, the implication from Ms. Ehsani was that our partner in this event could be facing a lawsuit if they chose not to cancel the event. Our collaborator is a community resource that depends on our support and donations. 

Seabrook and Ehsani illegally applied for Trademark of the Rockalily wordmark and logo. These graphics remain the intellectual property of their creator, Luc Bergeron. I (Veronica M Roy, known by the stage name Helvetica Bold) am the sole licensee of these images.


Furthermore, Seabrook copyrighted my intellecual property. The name Rockalily was created in a brainstorm between myself and Tyler Blanchett. Blanchett respectfully resigned from working with Rockalily, and has agreeably left me as the "owner" of our mutual intellectual property. Copyrights are inherent, and so Rockalily remains my property. Seabrook's copyright, although 
currently recognized by the government, is fraudulent and should I choose to contest it, he would lose his claim to the copyright.

Any third party who contracts Rockalily through me, or one of our other authorized performers, can not be held liable in the case of a lawsuit. Threats from Seabrook and/or Ehsani are merely bully tactics, used to interfere with Rockalily, me, and those we work with. Should they choose to file a lawsuit, I am solely responsible for defending Rockalily. 

The only email Rockalily uses is rockalily.booking@gmail.com. Our only official website is www.rockalilyburlesque.com.

I am being represented by Paul Donovan of Perley-Robertson, Hill and McDougal. http://www.perlaw.ca/en/people/paul-w-donovan


I have disabled and removed existing comments due to harassment.  I do not take unsolicited calls and do not answer emails sent from spam accounts or accounts using fake names. If you have something to say to me, say it like you mean it, and attach your name and character to it.  

Spanakopita

This evening I made spanakopita. A healthy and delicious dinner! I used phyllo dough, chopped spinach, low fat feta, and Leftover garlic sauce from my boyfriend's last shawarma feast.

Yum yum yum!

Mardi Gras

It's pancake day! So I'm having a crepe with butter, cinnamon, sugar, and lemon. Yum!

Je Me Souviens

Happy Flag Day, Canada!

Today would be my father's 64th birthday. He passed away 6 and a half years ago, to cancer.

My dad and I never got along all too well, but, I was 18 when he died. We never had a chance to get along or have a relationship like (I imagine) most people develop with their parents in their post-teenage years.

I like to think that my passion for food was inspired by my dad. When we got together with his side of the family, who all lived in Montreal or Quebec City, it was always over copious amounts of food, and the stale lingering stench of cigarette smoke that permeated the whole province.

It wasn't just the maple candy and squeaky cheese curds of Quebec that trigger my memories and my salivary glands. When we went out for dinner without my mom, we got to savour contraband items like extra cheese pizza, chocolate sweets, and french fries. Whenever we eat out, my poor boyfriend has to hear stories of some of the ridiculous things my dad used to eat. I sometimes even push him to order certain things that I used to eat, with my dad, in my pre-veg days. I've now got him hooked on Halifax-style donairs and Shwartz' smoked meat.

Everything my dad made had extra butter and lots of love. My dad loved to eat. He also loved to cook. My Mom's family always looked forward to his short ribs, and we all went crazy for his crepes. I miss Christmas morning crepes more than I can articulate. They were heavenly.

Believe it or not, my dad is the reason I am a vegetarian. When I was 9 years old, I went a week without eating any meat. When I announced it to my family, my dad scoffed at me, challenging me to keep it up. I seemed to have inherited his stubborn genes, because I sure did keep it up.

I think of him often when I'm cooking, and I know he'd be proud every time a smiling face and full belly leave the Gypsy Cafe, praising my vegan and vegetarian cooking, that, to me, is so heavily inspired by my dad's love of food.

The Bombshell- one of the vegan sandwiches available at Gypsy & Co

Let There be Roux

Today I was asked how I managed to make a cream soup both vegan and gluten-free.

"How do you make it creamy without using milk?"

There are a few ways to thicken and creamify your soups without using dairy or wheat; One option is to include potato with your ingredients and then show that soup who's boss with an immersion blender. Another is to simply use soy or nut milk, which I find offers the illusion of creaminess, but doesn't do much for the taste buds.

One of the fundamentals of cooking is being able to make a roux. Oh, that flavourful and magical mix of butter, flour, and milk that when subject to heat, becomes the base of most non-tomato-based sauces. If the story of creation were about cooking, God would have made a roux on the first day.

But that's not at all vegan OR gluten-free, is it!? (interrobang!)

No, but I can teach you one that is. All you need is 2 cups of unsweetened soy milk, 3 tablespoons of rice flour, and 3 tablespoons of Earth Balance or other vegan margarine.

Melt the butter in a saucepan over medium heat
Stir in flour with whisk
Allow mixture to bubble - don't wait for it to brown. Make sure you stir. Since margarine is oil based, if your vegan roux browns before you add the "milk", you are simply burning your rice flour.
After a couple of minutes of stirring and bubbling, slowly whisk in your "milk".
Turn down heat to medium-low, and stir constantly until desired consistency is reached.

Ta-da!

Mix this in to broth soups to make them creamy, add garlic and parsley for a vegan alfredo sauce, or melt Daiya cheese into your roux for a delicious cheeseless sauce.

Meet Lola

Lola is a lump.

First!

A few years back, when I lived in Montreal, I had some short-lived popularity with a veg*n cooking blog. I intend to use this blog for cooking, burlesque, art, and whatever tickles my fancy (read: a lot of pictures of my cats).  So....

Right now I'm working on developing a seitan-based, vegan version of the Montreal smoked meat sandwich. It should be ready for launch in the Gypsy Kitchen Cafe in the early spring. I, personally, can't wait. I'm starting to work on transitioning the cafe-fare to a bit more of a diner/deli menu. Not that I don't love the snacks and paninis that we serve, but my culinary capabilities are craving something a little more complex, and Ottawa is sorely lacking in fast, inexpensive, and delicious vegan lunch options that are not samosas. 

I'm going to go eat a pickle.

Next time I post something I'll try to include a photo or a recipe or something else interesting, but not *too* interesting; my mom is getting good at the internet, I don't want to have any 'splainin to do.